"Feels too much is being asked of her and is tired ..."

Click here to read the rest of the results. I can't believe that a quiz can explain my current situation better than I can... I've put my feelings on hold for the past couple of weeks so here it goes..just a little of what I've been suppressing.. His birthday came and went, which was on the 1st of May. I visited him of course, I dropped by the day before, only I saw that his nana was there..typically, I couldn't make myself face anyone he knew so I stayed in the car and drove on. It would have been awkward, probably more-so for her anyway, and the last thing I wanted to do was make an elderly woman uncomfortable. On the next day, on his actual birthday, i didn't get there til the afternoon. I had to drop my sister to Uni and then I walked around the store trying to make up my mind as to what I should bring to his grave. It had been a struggle, but upon finally deciding on a bouquet of white autumn flowers and a balloon I set off. When i got there, it was an hour before sun-down so I planned to stay there with him. Every sunset is a spectacular sight and since his grave already faces the sun, it was such a gift.. Needless-to-say, some others had already been there, there had been flowers and cards and a Mad magazine..suddenly I was feeling a little foolish with what I brought..why didn't I think to bring him something he used to enjoy? My flowers looked tacky compared to the others and what was I thinking, buying a balloon on a stick..? It didn't represent him at all. Also, in the back of my mind, I was wondering what if someone else showed up? (Luckily during the course nobody else did..) But after calming down and geting some perspective - it was his birthday afterall and I should be celebrating in his memory - I pulled out his picture, lit a candle and sat back to face the descending sun. It had been a beautiful day afterall, there were also trees that lined the perimeter so that it blocked the main road, and along the paths so that there was a constant chirp from birds nearby..I couldn't help but think what a peaceful place this graveyard was. The sky was a mixture of purple, pink and orange by this point, and I could only wish that I had some weed just to make it a little closer to perfect. He would have enjoyed that, just to have one last chill session.. *sigh* I should probably end on that happily wishful note..for once.. yeah, I think I will.. smile, smile.