i have lost complete control over everything my life emotions thoughts anything and everything i hate waking up every morning, knowing that i have to live thru the same shit again. and again, and again. my life is a broken record player. it just keeps playing the same shitty day. over and over and over again. im sick and tired of it. some days i just wish that i didnt wake up. i wish that i had enuff will power over myself to actually do sumthing worth while. i tried cutting the other day, needless to say, i couldnt bring myself to do any damage. is that a sign? idk. i just wish i cud do _sumthing_ to myself that will actually make her realize what shes doing to me. i jsut wish there was some way i could get her to realize all this fucking shit shes causing me. i just pray some nights that i dont wake up in the morning. yet, there i am, at the sound of the radio, bracing myself for another day