• It's cold in my room, but I'm keeping the window open. The pitter-patter of rain on my window pane is one noise I could honestly live for. Next time your walking through the hall of your school, take a second to look around and just listen. The footsteps, the voices, the whispers, secrets, gossip, weather, teacher yelling, kids laughing, papers falling. It all just falls together. Next time your in the library look around, listen, feel, it's silent but there's still noise. There's always noise. Libraries are wonderful, filled to the brim with book, old, new, modern, aged. Shelves lined with them. It feels almost secretive. Which one do you choose? Who has read it before? Next time your walking outside, look around at the trees, at the light. The way light falls onto you. I don't know why I'm saying any of this. I stood out in the rain today for a good 30 minutes, just stood there. I looked around, and I thought some things, but most of my thoughts were absent. Donnie Darko just finished, for the 3rd time today. I'm starting it over. The ending is so great. I won't explain, in case you haven't seen it. It makes you almost ache inside, but you know it's for the best. It's a painful sort of happy. Self-sacrifice always is. Self-sacrifice really amazes me. It's one of those things that when people do it (which is rare) it makes you tilt your head in awe, and you almost want to ask them why? Hah, I must be a good bullshitter 'cause I told myself I'd right about my feelings, and this is what came of it. If I ever have a pet rabbit, I'm definitely naming it Frank, which reminds me...my cousin is suppose to give me a black rabbit. Woo Frank. Feeling time, seriously, Kat. I feel pretty damn worthless lately. I don't know if I've talked about this, if so, I apologize: I told my mom about how I feel. She said 'well, we can put you one medication for that.' Well, great mommy dearest. Precisely what I don't want. Anyhow, my sister called, and I talked to her, and then told her about it. She said I could come stay with her (Arkansas) and that it would be a sort of rehabilitation, or however she put it. She had a long rant about how mom doesn't know anyhting and that what she said to me is so typical her. I hope it all works out. My mother is preparing things, like checking on plane ticket or train tickets, so on. I'm trying not to get too stoked, if it doesn't work out, I don't want to feel really let down. Last night I spilled all my worries to a friend, and he was comforting , it felt kind of nice i guess. I don't know, I don't like talking about my feelings. (even though I'm forcing myself to now..hah) okay. I'm done. Quote of the Day: ~"Real courage is when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what. "~ -Harper Lee Did you know Harper Lee and Truman Capote grew up as neighbors and were good friend? If you didn't, now you do.

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