• Ah weekends over. Bummer. I rather dislike school :( oh well, I guess if I'm being optimistic only 5 more days till the next one. Maybe J and I can go guy shopping at 6 flags now that i'm fucking single he texted me tonight. asked how i was doing. it's sweet that he cares. But it made me feel like crying again. i almost wish he'd just stay away if everything he says just makes me miss him more. It;s crazy though. i've been reading my old journal entries. I complain about how he treats me in every single one, just about. And looking back on it, I know it's true. he was never my knight in shining over. But i think, over time, i sort of learned to expect that. Like the few times we were together and everything was perfect made all the total shit worth it. Love's a funny thing. When it's not drowning me that is... I'm really working on being a better person. I made it through today without saying a single mean thing to or about anyone. I know, that sounds lame, but it's an accomplishment for me. A stepping stone. Tomorrow I'm going to talk to the rebeccas. As in like all 10 of them. Scary. I keep hearing from other people that they won't stop talking shit about me. And even tho i hav no respect for them whatsoever, it still kind of bums me out that they're that judgemental. Thay'll probably just laugh at me when i go over to talk, but watever. I can take it. I think I'll feel better about myself if i give ti a good college try. And maybe he'll be a little proud of me too.... umm what else? I bought some new cds. One was something corporate, leaving through the window. OMG soooo good. Andrew mc is my hero. to everyone hu hasn't heard SoCo music, you r missing out. It's like the perfect genre for everyone. It doesn't matter if all you listen to is death metal or ghetto rap. Like seriously, there isn't anyone out there who can listen to that album and come away with nothing. Alright I'm outtie. We'll see how 2morrow goes

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