• 3:52 Monday Ok maybe the title was a little over dramatic but today was Horrible!!! well only till like 30 seconds after the bell for school to be over rung. Ok well let me tell you what happened. Austin you remember him right...the love of my life and once was i the love of his....well i was walking right behind him after the bell cause we have 7th period together and we both go out the front doors of the school...except i turn walking behind the library and he keeps walking toward the freshman building to go to his locker....well my best friend Jennifer caught up with me and was talking and i glanced over and saw Austin with his arm around this girl named Kayla c. and i stopped right there and my mouth started to tremble and i covered my mouth and my eyes started waterin up and my friend is like what happened and she looked over and was tellin me who it was and stuff and she says she aint nuthin but a whore...but and it just made me so sad and i walked to my grandpa's truck cause i have yet to get my license to lazy....anyways when i got home i was so mad at myself cause i keep thinkin all this time that he would ask me back out and everything would be normal...but.... Cause it happened before and he asked me back out in 13 hours..well i punched the wall but dont worry it didnt do any damage...ima smoke again... i aint had a cig in like a month but i need to calm my nerves....and i know what you thinkin that he prolly broke up wit me cause im crazy but he never knew that i could get mad i never showed him that side of me i was sweet and nice and quiet...and i gave him everything he wanted thats why i dont understand........i wonder if he misses me but i guess not cause he broke up wit me... i think his friend had a little something to do with it...hes friend dont like me. Anyways i thought about going out with Justin this dude that Austin dont like Hes one of my ex's that still likes me....cause i know it would make him jealous....but i couldnt do that to him...i want him to be as happy as he can be. I dont want him to worry about me.....i mean if i hurt him it would kill me cause if hes hurt then im hurtin 10 times as much.I love him to much. But anyways sorry ya'll for ramblin i just had to get that out. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

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