• 4/26 yesterday was great. i shopped with sam and this girl julia, who i'm not really close with, but is cool. i bought a shirt and shorts, and we had a lot of fun. the only problem was sam blabbed and told julia i like j.c. i literally almost slapped sam, cause i'm not close with julia. GEN doesn't even know, and i am way closer with her. julia was cool about it though, a little shocked, but she didn't say anything. i don't know, i guess people pin me to be in love with some 'emo' kid. i even expect that. but i usually fall for a boy who's so not that. i think long hair is hot, but i haven't actually liked someone with long hair. emo: what exactly is it? people call me emo, but i don't know. they don't know the bands i listen to, and call me emo because of that. i love how 'popular' people like a lot of what i listen to, but never get called emo. i know i'm not like everyone else, but so what. the word emo has become a joke. no one knows exactly what it is. some say a person is emo if they listen to screamo, but i don't listen to much of that and get called emo. so say you're emo if you wear all black and wear eyeliner. my friends and i get called emo, and i don't wear eyeliner, and if gen kell or lauren do its barely there. but popular people, who cake it on, never get called emo. it pisses me off that i get labled as that. and i'm 'weird' because i'm different. i dare to not listen to everything on the radio and get criticized for it. today so far i've had soccer, and we tied. at the end of the game i was getting pissed off because offense was yelling at people (me) on defense. they were blaming us for the goal, when it wasn't our fault. it didn't matter though, because we tied. hopefully we win tomorrow. ------------- i'm going to try to talk to j.c. on monday. or at least some time this week. just maybe say hey, crack a joke, but nothing more. hopefully we can slip back into how it used to be. i wish i could talk to him on a more serious note, about how he feels about everything. i wish i could tell him how I feel. how absolutely shitty i feel. Some things we can't escape But if we try, if we try We can leave this behind -Sleeping With Giants, The Academy Is... that sort of describes the situation me and him are in. we can't seem to escape the awkwardness, but if we tried hard enough, maybe we could. i don't know. i don't have anything else to say.

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