• before it begins Holidays are over in two days. dammit. I hate the last few days of hols,,, cuz i just spend the whole time trying to make the time go slower, and not really doing anything. I slept at my friends place last night. it was good but whenever we stay together we always end up on msn and certain people always talk to her way more than they would ever talk to me... and it still kinda hurts. But it's ok It's not as bad as it used to be. She loves talking about them though and sometimes i wish she had other things to talk about other than people those people. I think the real reason i feel upset is cuz im tired i guess. i hate when i first wake up cuz i'm so delerious and my brain goes about 50 times slower or maybe it just seems that way... my nails look like dinosaurs i would really like to make some good friends. more good friends... like i have friends and everything but we kinda just do random stuff together i dunno what i'm looking for but something more.. people who have are lacking a life as much as i am so that i can just do stuff with them instead of them always having stuff to do or not being bothered it's probably my problem anyway. I want to find my niche with people who make me feel like i'm enough as i am AND that i like but why talk to someone quiet when you could talk to someone loud? thats how they must see it. i see it as rejection. lol im not in the mood to be serious and depressing yet i am pointless much? [it helps]

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