• i wore a Tybalt costume. black tights, my dad's salmon shirt, and a belt. i kept it on the entire day. i'm going crazy. i want to see him every second of every day. but i'm not allowed to because we're not close enough. i don't usually get sexual fantasies, and i still don't, but is it wrong to picture these tights ripped off? i'm sorry, i guess. slowly buiding up the guts, i cant wait for you to shoot me down. break me down so badly. i've never dissected someone so horribly. everytime you smile at me, i wonder if you're telling your friends about this stupid girl who won't leave you alone. i wish i wouldn't have to do all the work in this. whywon'tyouloveme? it keeps repeating itself in my head. you're just the only affliction i have right now, that's why you're so important. nobody really gets it. you make me nervous. you make tybalt nervous. why are you so hard to understand? or maybe i'm just trying too hard. probably. i'm doing pretty much everything wrong. 'get over it.' yeah, okay. i will.

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