• so on the bus this afternoon i was talking to Amanda... I told her why I never officially went out with J. I really don't want to repeat it. I'm not proud of it. It's not something you want to hear yourself say... But it felt good to finally say it. Just to get it out there. To finally admit it... The second half I didn't tell her. And I don't plan to tell anyone... Maybe I'll send it to PostSecret. Been thinking about that for a while. But now that that's out in the open... Maybe I'll be able to not be angry anymore. Maybe I'll be able to bring myself to talk to him... Not that I actually will want to. But it will be an option. I never missed him and I never will. However... I realized today that I do miss Base a bit. Not as a crush- never as that. But as a friend. I miss actually being able to talk to him. As thick as he is, he's a cool guy. Maybe I'll try to build up a friendship with him again... Or maybe not. I dunno. Still some thinking to do. 'Bout a lot of things. xoxo. much love.

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