• -buried beneath all the lies. stood at a distance to feel who you are hiding myself in your eyes hold on before it's too late until we leave this behind don't fall just be who you are it's all that we need in our lives that song is amazing in many ways its not corny and crappy like millions of cliched songs but it still has an actual meaning i don't know what i need i'm both angry and excited but mostly tired. tomorrow we're having this day at school where we all dress up like retards its great i'm going as a bikey I wish i knew what was going on in his end of the world but only a tiny bit i still want to be the good guy so if something's wrong i wanna help. but i thought it would be better if i just let go completely i thought that was what he would want. but maybe not entirely. actually i don't want any of that i don't want to get involved with him in any way it wouldn't turn out well. i know that. I'm still ok as i said everything would be but for the last couple days i've been thinking about it again ....although for like a total of 10 minutes a day which is A LOT better than 8 hours approximately but i dunno i guess it's that i still care and i don't want to care i want to have let go i want to be that happy caring free person that i see in my imagination maybe it's not realistic? i wish i could fake it but whats the use in a lie? even if its beautiful a beautiful lie.

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