• i don't really have anything to talk about but do you think that will stop me? i want it and i have to stop before i fall again exasperation. i'm so desperate to get vulnerable. actually, i've always been vulnerable but i'm so desperate to show it. to get sympathy. or something like that. I've finally finished all the work they had set for me and now i've been forced back into that room. the one where you can feel in the air that somethings not right. but there's a strange sense of comfort that prevents you from dwelling on it long enough to change anything. I know what i need. i need him. well there are two hims actually... one would make me feel better, but not really make things any better. and the other would make things better, but not as fast and not as obviously. I'll always go for the easy way out or the most satisfactory in the short term. and even though i know this, still nothing changes.

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