• I had a lot of thoughts running through my mind when I clicked on 'add entry.' Now I really don't know where to start or how to even say what I was thinking. Which is kind of how it always is. A friend tried to get me to open up to him, to tell him my problems and all that bothers me. I just told him a little. About as much as I put in this journal. It was an awkward stop-stalling conversation, I didn't know how to say how I felt. I didn't know where to stop, or end, or pause, I didn't know anything. I ended up just feeling worse. Last night I tried telling someone something, well, I was seeking advice more than anything. They didn't understand at all. I gave up. It was funny though because they didn't say 'please tell me, I'm worried about you' it was more like 'please tell me, I feel like a bad friend' Because it's always about how you feel, right? When I sit here and listen to all your damn problems, give you as much advice as I can, knowing you will throw it all to the wind. I don't do it because it makes me feel like a 'good friend' I do it because I want people to feel better, I want others to be happy. Is it so hard to return that favor? Just once? This has nothing to do with what I meant to write in here.. My mother asked me again today if I need to be put on anti-depressants. She said it in a jokingly manner, but that's just how she deals with uncomfortable things. I know she's just trying to help, but it just makes me feel worse. She tries to comfort me, but I just want left alone. I think people are sometimes too focused on finding the 'one.' That person that will supposedly make them complete, instead they forget about life. They ignore all the beauty around them, and when they don't find that 'one' as quickly as they hoped to, they become depressed and upset. If people would stop being so obsessed with finding a whole other person to complete them, and just complete themselves life would be a lot happier. The 'one' shouldn't complete you, they should compliment you. I guess I don't really make sense anymore. Finding the 'one' has nothing to do with how I feel now, it's just a random thought that was lingering in my mind and happened to pour itself out of my fingers, onto these sorry keys. Sorry readers. Have I always been this down? Was I just able to ignore more easily before? What's wrong with me? I keep telling myself this is just some teenage angst and will be gone by tomorrow. And every morning I wake up feeling no better than the night before. This is useless. Quote of the Day: ~"Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain."~ --Mark Twain

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