• I read a book called Knife edge recently. The character in it feels constantly like shes walking on one-and so do I.I dopnt seem to be able to understand anything in this world. I'm scared for my friend.My friends. One is depressed as hell,yet I can do nothing about it.In actuality,I may not even know him.But I care,and I'm worried. I havent heard from him in a few days. But thats not out of the normal....But because of what he said last time we spoke,I'm very concerned,I wish I could be there for him. Another friend,Iknow I shouldn't care for.He's hurt me before.But honestly,I still love him.And,hes gone.Nobody's properly seen him in a bunch of days..like his family etc. No one. He's called me He wants to see me I dont think I trust him.Nor do my friends.If they knew I was in touch with him,they'd kill me.They say I should never let him into my life in any way,ever again... So what do I do? This is just another way for me to make sense of things in my head... And another boy in my life...is far away in england.Sometimes when I'm drunk I can pretend he's still here.But he left.Again. Adam won't leave me alone. He says he's worried about me. I'm worried too.I'm worried that he doesn't really care. That he's just using me.

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