• 'sittin at home, sittin on the bus...all i ever do is think about us' i feel like powerpoeming/rhyming. because i feel like shit (obv) ............. lying awake in want of company. this is exactly how you left me. moving along in clouds of misery. i cant believe you did this to me. consuming thoughts are what distract me. you'll say that im over-reacting. all my failed words and actions. are still out there but they're in fragments. they float around outside your head, just let them in is what i once said. ..... i know your alone. i know your mad. i know you remember, what we had. i know your proud, i am too, but i had no such trouble, forgiving you. ....... vagabondage - travelling about with no clear destination in mind. ill break free of this (clear) vagabondage. arent we all just lost souls! connecting, disconnecting, wandering, wallowing, materialising, desintergrating, decieving .it could be one of the biggest sins to deceive a (poor) soul. you just dont know. you just dont know anything these days, all this psychology bullshit. cant help you. its never going to be 100% right. its never going to fix you. your going to have to fix yourself. i think the best way to fix yourself is to find someone real, someone who knows you well. someone who doesnt want to be helped. and ultimately wants to die a tragic death, should be left to do so. theyre thoughts the split second before they die. wouldnt they be interesting, more interesting than maths and all that bullshit. im going to think of possible death thoughts. "i was wrong. i was wrong all along. i was wrong all day long of every day that became to long to be wrong...ok why the hell arent i dead yeee..." "somebody save me! save me from myself" help! im killing myself and i just realised how stupid that actually is" "im truely unhappy, but i cant say id be unhappy with the attention this suicide will bring" "im actually feeling regret, sorrow, distain and contritement. wow this is the most ive felt in years" "im dying. cool! this is well real!" and the old classic.."tell mum i love her" cant think of aymore. and i probably shouldnt. i think its a bout time i privated this shit. sometimes times its all thats needed to let things grow, but not when the plants a complete fuck up. somethings never grow. this wasnt some sort of plant malfunction...you cut off my branches.

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