• I'm so out of it tonight. I had an extremely difficult conversation with an old friend lat night. He was able to pinpoint a major problem in my life without me saying a word. I was so shocked, I nearly admitted to everything that's happened, everything I keep locked inside. As he became angry with the situation, (it wasn't at me, it was at someone else that does something. I'm leaving it at that, you can make whatever connections you wish) I began lying. I just wanted him to oblivious. Ignorance is bliss, this is something he needs to be ignorant about. Anyways, I lied to him, he finally believed me. He wants to meet up this weekend. I know I'm going to get questioned a lot. I know I'm going to breakdown, I'm fearful of telling him everything. I'm fearful of having so much trust in one person. I almost want to blow him off, but i can't. I'm so apprehensive, I'm shakey, I can hardly type, I can't think straight, I'm spacing out, I'm scared.. I wish I could explain this all right now, to all you strangers. I wish I could, but I just can't.

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