In 3rd grade, I stopped trusting people. For 7 years, I've built this wall around myself. Except for a brief outburst in 5th grade, I haven't told anyone anything. Not my mom, not my best friend, not my dog.
To prevent the 3rd/5th grade incidents from happening again, I don't feel. Well, I do, but I ignore my feelings, pretend they're not there. Consequently, I haven't had a real "crush" on somebody since 5th grade. I've liked people since then, but not enough to actually like think about them.
I tried letting my guard down for once. Not telling other people or anything, just letting myself accept it. And now it's worse than it was before.
I'd rather feel nothing than this.
Not that I'm miserable or anything. It's just that gross disappointed feeling. I don't get it though. I'm not EXPECTING anything...
do people hate me or think i'm insane? both?
- March 28, 2008
- wonderwolf
- No Comments
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