possibly. last nite sucked. majorly. my mother is an absolute fuckking cunt bag. she asked me if i wanted to move out and i was thinking "you have no idea how tempting that idea is." i didnt say anything. i stood there, crying hysterically, make up running down my face, and i was pushing my hip into the corner of the bathroom counter b/c that was the only way for me not to become violent. Its fucking 9:30 at nite, im in bed, and she makes me get out, and traps me in the bathroom, so she can yell at me for a half hour. i mean, what the fuck. if only she knew of half the shit and pain she puts me thru. if only she understood half the thoughts that i think on a regular basis. maybe that wud change her mind about me. Maybe she wudnt think that im the reason her life is so horrible. that im not the reason for the cancer or divorce. but i guess i will never know. i was talking to Hannah last nite, and i said i wud do anything and everything to get away from her, and this hell hole that i live in. If it wasnt for the fact that i have a low tolerance for pain and i hate blood, i dont know what i wud do for relief. I finally got off the computer at 10:30 cuz no1 was on but i didnt fall asleep until 1:30 becuase i was so upset. i woke up and i felt like shit, but no way was i spending the entire day with her. i wud rather die or eat worms b4 doing that. Then today, she acts like nothing happened. i mean, cum on. i know just as well as she does that this is going to happen again. IT was getting better, then sumthing snapped inside her and she almost killed me. I was sitting there crying hysterically not saying anything because anything i said "cud and wud be used against me". I know that this fight is going to happen again and i can only try to hold it off as long as posisble because i dont know if i will stay calm next time. I honestly dont know whats gonna happen, and i can only hope that i will keep my cool. not sucidle........yet