• Today is my last day of spring break. I didn't do anything. at all. I hung out with my friends a little bit, not as much as planned. I suppose they didn't want to hang out that much anyway. Easter passed. It was dull, as usual. And as usual, I was left out sitting with my family. I'm glad this journal is private, because I will type exactly what I feel. fuck. I want to graduate and get out of here already. I need to get away from certain people. Certain guys who just lead me on and act like they will follow through. I wish he wouldn't do that. He makes me want to punch a wall. He repeatedly says all this nice stuff, but it doesn't amount to anything. I think the only thing I will miss is my cat. I'll miss people, but not all that much. No one is enough to make me stay here in this black hole. I'm afraid my ex-boyfriend is getting the wrong idea. I like him still, but nothing will happen. I push him away constantly, so no. Nothing will happen. I'm moving and happilly doing that. Senior year is amounting to absolutely nothing. And I'm glad, it makes me not have to think twice about moving. I'm pretty sure I cannot trust 2/3 of my friends. I know they talk behind my back. I was in the library and I walked in the aisle and two of my best friends just stopped talking when I went in. They tried to cover it up. It's not allright. I feel like they are manipulating me. They want me to do exactly what they would do. They feel like they are so perfect. Well, guess what? They suck. I think way too much. I'm always wondering about someone. Are they thinking of me? Do they care? Why aren't they talking to me? Why don't they say the same things they said yesterday? How can I trust anyone? Even my own mom. How can I trust her with what she is doing? She lies to other people, what makes me so different? She lies to her own mom, ex-husband, and 'boyfriend'. What makes me so different from them? I'm her daughter. My graduation is coming up in about two months. And after that, everything is going to change. And even if it does not seem good after the first few months, KEEP GOING. IT WILL GET BETTER. PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP. I NEED THIS. DO NOT GIVE UP, STEPHANIE.

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