and i decided to post the other thing. now mind u, its very depressing, and im not like that anymore, and if ur reading this and we're friends, u probably didnt know this so dont freak out cuz im not like that anymore and i rly dont want u guys to worry. so enjoy (or not) I have been thinking a lot lately. Thinking about the last 2 years, and everything that has gone on. Thinking about that dark period I had when I wanted nothing more than to be in bed, in the dark, in a little ball. As soon as I unwound myself from that ball, and walked into the light, everything was harder, more difficult to deal with because while I was in the ball, it all seemed like a dream, but once in the light, it became reality. It was a big reality shocker and sometimes I wish it really were a dream. I know I must have said some things and done some things then that I regret but I rly have no memory of that time. The only memory was wanting it to end. Wanting all of it to end, and the only way for that was ending my life. I thought about that, never came up with a plan, and never actually attempted it, but I thought about it. Thought about what it would be like not to be here anymore, and to maybe be someplace happier, someplace safer and not as corrupt. I thought about all the people that I would miss, and I wondered if they would miss me too. Sometimes I thought they wouldn’t even notice, then other times I thought you would go through the same thing I was going through, and I didn’t want to do that to you. Those thoughts mite have been the only thing that saved me, or it could have been health class. Who knows? But now I know that I'm glad I didn’t let it end there, because there would have been so much I would have missed out on. So many opportunities that I would never have been given. Now I know that you would have missed me. I know it would have been tough. But now looking back on it all, it doesn’t seem so bad, but at the time, it seemed like the worse thing. Sorry for the depressing entry. Just something I thought I should get off my chest