I have the day off, and here I spend it. I'm tired of homework, I'm tired of working six hours a weekend, I'm tired of community service, I'm tired of musical practice until 6:30 PM, and I'm tired of being tired. And stressed. All the freaking time. I think the problem with being "smart" and going to a "smart school" is that people expect a lot out of you. Especially when you get A's & B's at a "smart school". Of course I want to go to college. And I want to go to college out of state. But to do that, I have to get a scholarship. Which means standing out...A LOT. And it's very stressful. People expect me to just be this great awesome academic achievement. Most of the time I like that. I like that people think I'm intelligent. But it's also very difficult...to be one of the smartest kids in your grade at a smart school. Because I feel like I have to keep it up, or I'll dissappoint my friends, my family, and myself. Sometimes I wish I didn't have such high aspirations for myself, that I didn't feel I had to do my homework perfectly, that I could just blow off a test, that I could allow myself to slip from an 80 in French to a 78. But I can't. I know it will probably pay off later, but for now, it's difficult. Really...really...difficult. But then I do my homework, study for my test, pull the all-nighter...and it pays off. If I don't get into the college I want with financial aid though...was it all worth it? I wonder.