• Oh god oh god oh god i'm so tired i'm going crazy but its not a good time its my last chance and i still havent figured out what i want to say or if he even cares i don't know should i apologize for being a freak? or just pretend like it never happened? it's hard to say i need god so bad right now i know though that i'm still just being selfish thats all i ever am this whole thing has just been because i am selfish thats why it happened thats why it stopped thats why its been on my mind ever since i thought i had well and truly let go but since its almost over, i let myself think about it stupid mistake and everything i say just digs me deeper into this hole. plus i'm not even in the mood to write well, which would usually make me feel better, but instead i'm just stuck trying to piece together my random thoughts and emotions which never match up. ok relax relax relax there is nothing to worry about i'm just tired god has it in his hands nothing was ever going to go wrong there is no point being worked up over this it just makes me more stupid than before man i'm such a fool but i'm going to be ok i just need to stop talking to people while i'm upset i really do it just leaves evidence of my emotional outburts. i would rather people didn't know that i'm so insecure i'm not always just sometimes this guy renders me ... everything-less lol i have no idea what i'm talking about it's not even him it could be some other guy anyone and i would be in exactly the same position so why do i end up like this? am i that pathetic? lol mannn i really need to go to sleep but then i'll never get to say goodbye! and most of why i'm here is because i need to say goodbye actually this is really not an issue i'm probably just worried about what will consume my thoughts instead of him... maybe i'd rather stick with this obsession i'm used to than open myself up to some new kind of pain i sound so emo ok well i think thats out of my system now... so why hasn't this website been working all day? rather depressing really... it says there are no comments artists users or anything aweeesoooome i'm so bored and it's not helping

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