• Not in a great mood right now. don't know why. i just woke up like this... my WHOLE family is home which is rare these days but i haven't learnt to appreciate it yet. I like to be by myself i like my space but there is so much noise and smells and people everywhere it makes me stress. kind of strange i realised this morning how much power i have over my own mind. I woke up thinking about the situation with a certain someone non stop, but then i just told myself that it wasn't a big deal, and now it's not! i will survive. this has been a decent learning experience. pretty sure if it hadn't been for the whole thing i wouldn't have come back to God. i'd still be colossally screwed up. colossal. thats such a random word. my eyes are kind of sore. maybe cuz i didn't get enough sleep and now i'm just staring at a computer screen. anyway i'm pretty sure i'm a heaps better person through all this, HAHA wow humble too. i know i'm not anywhere near what i need to be, but i've made a decent start. wow. now he's talking to me. and i'm being normal i feel somehow... not stupid? lololol i don't even know what i'm talking about but i'm not all shaky and worried about every little thing i say like i sometimes am. haha pathetic really. i'm so over caring what he thinks about me anyway he's leaving in like two days he's not gonna go telling everyone i'm a maniac right? ... it's not like they don't already know actually freaking maniac.

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