• number nine. number nine. number nine. number nine. I doubt many will get that. Oh well. Yesterday Shae was over, being a dick as usual. He hurt me a bit, and I cried. Like always. Because I'm weak like that. That's not who I came to write about though. Surprise, I know. I'm just going to give him the same name I use on QL's journal. Because I doubt anyone will link it. Dar and I have been friend's for a long while. When I first met him I absolutely adored him. He was pretty much everything I liked in a person. He hated me to death. He now says he just found me highly annoying, but he used to tell me he hated me everyday. I still liked him though, but eventually I gave up. After that we became friends through a mutual friend. A few months after I started dating Shae, Dar started acting all weird. He stopped talking to me for a good while. Then he gave me his phone number asking for me to ring him. So I did, and after a lot of stopping and stalling he told me he liked me as more than a friend. Which was really confusing. I was starting out this (the, fun) relationship. I had made myself stop thinking of Dar that way months ago, and now he was telling me he liked me. I never really responded to him though. I just brushed it off, pretending like it never happened. We are pretty close friends now. Today we were talking, and for once we had kind of a serious conversation. After a lot of reminiscing about Arnol (our mutual friend who recently moved) he told me how not giving me a chance when he met me was probably one of the biggest fuck ups in his life thus far. I felt really odd all day after that, filled with what if's. Bran and I started talking again today. He's been kind of loner-ish lately. He tends to do that from time to time. It was nice, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to retain the friendship we had a few months ago. It's hard not to share secrets with him, when he does with me. It makes me feel kind of..two-faced? That's not quite the word I want, but oh well. I feel really down today, I'm not sure why. After Dar told me that, I just kind of had a down attitude. I guess everything happens for a reason though.

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