• So. I feel like I haven't posted in forever, even though it's only been a few days. I've been busy i guess. Tons of gymnastics. Stupid school shit. But really, those are only excuses. I hate how I feel I have to lie to myself. If i don't even believe me, how can I expect anyone else to? Anyway, today went predictably slowly. School is painful torture. We got progress reports. I have Bs in everything. I'm so fucking screwed. My mom is going to skin me alive. goodbye drivers ed. Ah watever. I'm so fucking sick of pretending to care. My english progress report pissed me off the most. i work so god damn hard in that class but my evil teacher still fucked me over. I got an 88 in participation which murdered my average. i deserve a freaking 150%. I know, I know life's not fair. But come on. SOME fairness should be expected. So yea after that i wasn't really in the mood to shoot my hand up overenthusiastically about shakespere. i wrote poetry instead. Good times I really don't know what to do about school. I feel like I'm at aw crossroads. On one hand, i could just all out suck up, listen get straight As. Really, it would be that easy. But at the same time, i feel like every right answer i give, i'm losing a piece of myself. I don't care about this useless shit. Why should i fake like i do? I can get Bs by doing the absolute minimum. To me, it makes no sense to do any better. However, my parents disagree. To them this is IMPORTANT. But they can't know how much i hate it. Otherwise I'd liek to think they wouldn't push so hard. I don't know what to do. Maybe i'll figure it out this afternoon. Cuz going back and forth like this is just so jading. Moving onto other life problems, my boyfriend thinks i'm a horrible person. I finally figured it out. He's staying with me just to see if i'll prove him wrong. And probably for ass. Go figure. But as for me, you'd think it makes sense to walk away then. Right? That's the logical thing to do. But for some sick reason, I really want to prove him wrong. Need to even. Because i'm not a bad person. I just fuck up sometimes. That's all. So yea, we'll see how long that lasts. My friends are all rooting for team break-up lol Hmmm, i should probs do some homework. Hahaha yesterday i had to do a personal add for a bacterium! Like hey im a sexy salmonella....No, seriously. Like 100% legit. And people wonder why i can't take school seriously. Well better get on that...later!

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