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  Another entry for today, even though it says its the next day, it's still only 10PM in California. Well I suggest fans of PlayRadioPlay! To go listen to The A-B Theory My favorite song from him is called "Fatal Flaw Attractions." I actually haven't asked my mom for permission to go to the show on Friday, but I'm just hoping she'll say yes. Hoping my plans won't screw me over. So for some reason, I watched all of the Disney Channel movie, Minutemen I admit I thought it was a pretty cute movie. Probably one of my favorite original movies that they have. I'm not ashamed to say so, and I like that about myself. Okay so if you don't like hearing about my LIFE please get the fuck off this page because no one is asking you to stay. Complaining about how stupid it is that I'm sharing my life to a bunch of strangers won't stop me. You using your hands to get off this page will. So continue with whatever you're doing and I advise you to never read another one of my journals again. Good? :) Yeah, I feel like I'm not good enough for you. Is that it? Do I have to fix myself up for you in order for you to accept me? Look at me. Sometimes I wish I had someone to stay up late with. Most of the time I love being alone. Being able to get out of all the commotion. No more complaining. But night time is the one time that I really would like company. A boy. That's what I want. A boy that I can sleep with. Sleep with meaning just SLEEPING. Talking to, then falling asleep. Not what you usually think about. That is my definition of a great relationship. Love does not mean sex. Please get that through your mind. That reminds me...I know this girl through a friend whose boyfriend broke up with her because she wouldn't have sex with him. It's really sad because I saw how much she liked them. She thought he was perfect. But I don't know. Should I show some pity for her? Even though I know shes a cutthroat bitch? I don't know how to feel. It's like I should feel bad for her, but then I shouldn't because she probably wouldn't feel bad for me. She told her best friend, who is a good friend of mine, that she didn't like me. Not hated me, but just didn't like me. I don't like her either, honestly. But I care for people. Well care isn't such a good word...I can't think of the word right now. I want a good boy. Have a been too shallow? I feel like I have. All I've been looking for is beauty. I don't even really care about their personality now that I think about it. I should, but I don't. I mean I do I guess..But my first priority is that they're good looking. What I notice first in boys is their face basically. I don't notice anything else other than their overall look. I keep telling myself that, one day he will come. I will find that guy that I want. I WILL. But I've been starting to think. When will my time come? Everyone has a boyfriend/girlfriend, they seem happy. Am I the only one that hasn't had one this year? It's pretty lame. Maybe I will find him. Maybe I won't. I guess we'll find out. Eventually. Seriously, goodnight. I'm not sure if this is love Too much free time; too many drugs And parking cars in alley ways To kill all the pain Wake up calls at 4 a.m. To find a fix, maybe a friend Just somebody to listen when You don't quite make sense Waiting rooms, hospital beds The smell of this place gets in your head And reeks of a life much shorter than You once imagined I watch their eyes cut through my bones I pray to God to save my soul Watch my regrets rise up like ghosts I buried them so long ago

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