• Shae was sick all weekend. We have tomorrow off, but he'll still be sick. I got the weekend all to myself..I was so happy. We were supposed to go see semi-pro, but I'm not really disappointed, it doesn't look that great. We'll probably go see it next weekend. He has an upper respiratory infection (he got it from work, it's been going around) I feel kind of bad being so happy that he is ill. Ha yea, that doesn't sound stupid. I feel bad that I'm happy an abusive asshole is sick.. Thursday a close friend asked me to go to lunch with him on Friday. Friday we had a shortened day so lunch would be all together (fresh-soph A, junior-senior B. Shae is in B I'm in A) I told him I couldn't because Shae would be there. He asked why that mattered, I just looked at him and said, 'Because he's an asshole, okay?' He was going to say something, but just kind of stopped and said okay. I felt guilty about that, but I couldn't think of anyhting else to say. I've grown sick of lying to my real friends all the time, they don't lie to me. I talked to a friend's friend on msn last night (by accident I thought it was the original friend) he was really nice. Okay..I'm going to give the friend a name so this isn't confusing for me. Friend-Xar Friend's friend-Joh Xar doesn't live by me, he knows about Shae. Joh asked how my love life was I told him to just ask Xar. After that he did the whole, 'you should tell someone' thing.. How could that possibly work? My parents would never be willing to leave this town (jobs) A restraining order doesn't put some anti-shae wall around me. It's not as though someone would come to protect me. My mom would never be willing to let me go live with my gparents or sister (I'm her baby..my sister left the family when she was 15) I have to go to school with Shae. He knows where I live, he knows all my classes. It's not like I'd have a bodyguard with me 24/7. Pressing charges wouldn't do anything really. A fine or juvey, if that..It's not like he'd go to prison forever and ever, and I'd live the rest of my years out as a princess who's escaped her tower. People don't think about that. They think telling people will save me..how? If I honestly thought telling someone would help me, I would have told someone a long time ago...

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