• this is quarantine from anyone who ever meant anything. but i'll be honest. only one comes to mind right now. and she's an ocean away. it's funny how insecure i've become. i'm pretty sure i had an upperhand somehow. though right now it's just my foot in the door; holding it open this time, instead of trying to leave. she said "we're friends, even though you might not think so." and i'm not sure how important that statement might be. it's just one of those things you're not sure you really saw or heard. like that long time ago on the phone with helena. like how i couldn't make eye contact with that guy when he said the same. like all the songs and people you loved make you sick after a while. this is 'the pros and cons of breathing' amplified through my heartbeat. "...spitting on lottery tickets and breaking the hands of palm readers... currently trying to get over myself, but i never really was one to take the high road. so its proving to be quite the challenge. - xo" only you know exactly who wrote that. the truth is i'm terrified that we're very good friends. and i guess this is me stuttering out is that okay?

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