• i want to be happy more than anything in the world. and it makes me mad when other people won't accept that they are happy and instead decide to bitch about the little things that dont even matter. ive also decided that i cant stand up for myself. when i do i question myself and keep rehearsing my sentences and right when im ready to say what i feel i fuck up my words and i feel a lump in my throat. god what is wrong with me. why cant i just say it? honestly i think its because im scared that when i say it the other person will come back wiith a remark that tears me apart, because if i have to think so hard about it they must mean something to me. and im scared to lose more people in my life. im too sensitive. i cant handle harsh words. well he got a girlfriend. a girlfriend that looks like a cheap whore :[ i really thought it might work with him i guess not "im not oh fucking kay" -mcr they understand me :]

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