I came to understand a very interesting truth, listening to Eckhart Tolle today. I now know that my problems are really illusions, becaue they only exist on the level of psychological time, but in reality, since all we ever experience is the everlasting now, these problems can not actually exist - they are only true for our minds, that are stuck in a temporal state of existance.
If one dissociates from the idea that time exists, and embraces the continuous present, and then asks: What problems am I facing now? The answer is none. There are no problems, except those we make for ourselves.
Social anxiety disorder is nothing but an attachment of the mind, a built in fear, that exists because of a series of things that happened in my past, which hold my mind in the grip of temporal recollections, and the alteration of everything in the present based on these past experiences. But the past does not truly exist, and neither does the future. EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS OCCURS IN THE NOW. Nothing in my life has ever occured in the past, has it? Nothing has ever occured in the future either. It was always in the present. These fears are just my mind's attachment, to give it a sense of identity. But I know that to seek an identity is just delusion, and in this case, seeking and holding one that isolates me and brings me pain is insanity.
It is so relieving...to just live now. To ask what problems I experience now, and to realize that there are none. Everything has this undercurrent of joy in it...although, I do find myself being drawn back into a state of psychological time awareness, thinking about my past, being absorbed by my memories and letting them affect me, when they shouldn't. It is my goal now to break the momentum of my mind, and learn to live in the present. But once you start, the process (apparently) will only move faster, as Eckhart Tolle has written.
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