do you ever just feel awkward?
like nothing ever happens the way you want it but then you try to change it and things just end up being worse. like you cant even get to know someone because your so scared that they will hate you.
i had the most wonderful dream last night. i finnaly got what i really wanted, taylor. but then i woke up and it all sucked again. it would never work out anyway. the same thing that has always happened will happen again. i would ruin everything like always. i wish he would stop playing games, mindless flirting, and tell me what he really honestly thinks.
im tired of this.
valentines day is thursday.
fucking useless holliday.
last night i invited taylor to come to the movies with me, jackie, will, tori, and eric. i didnt think he would be able to come but he actually made it. i was so excited but of course he ended up talking to kelso and she ended up being invited to come. its a bit of a long story as to how that happened that is just too tedious to tell. i guess the good thing is is that he didnt want her there. what was that supposed to mean though? it was a night spent of them hugging, kissing, and talking. i didnt need that.
he wants to break up with her but....
im not sure what i want.
even so i know he should be happy.
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