• Nemurenai no wa naze? Anata ga mieta kara. Shiten wa nureta yuka--atama wo kashigete nemutteru. Shiritaku mo nai you na genjitsu ni tada mukanjou de. Koe mo desazu zutto matataki sura wasurete anata ni mitoreteita. Nemutteshimaitai, nezame dake wo osorete. Subete wo wasuretai. Migatte na tawakoto ne Anata no namae wo yobu. Kamoku ni ki ga fureru. Yasete kata wo tsutsumi sakenda; kagososugita nukumori ni. Shiritaku mo nai you na genjitsu ni fukaku kokoro obore. Kuchibiru wo kamitaeta namida sae imi ga nai to shitta. Tachi tsukusu boku no haigo no koe. Hakidasu wake nado dou demo yokatta. Tada me no mae no anata ga totemo sabishisou na kao de. Nani hitotsu dekinakatta jibun wo shinu hodo nikunda. Namae wo kureta yuiitsu no anata e, kono mama soba ni itekurenai ka...? Sou, boku ni totte saisho de saigo no yasashiki "mama". Shiroi kabe ni sotto makka na e no gu de anata wo fuchidotta. Mada atatakai--hoho wo suri yosete; shizuka ni waratte miseyou. Ootsubu no namida ga anata to, kasanatte hitotsu ni nareta ki ga shita. Mabuta wo toji nukumori ga kieru koro, boku wa anata no soba de... __________________________________________________ Why can't I sleep? I was fascinated by the silence. It is empty to talk to myself in a damp room again. Why can't I sleep? Because I saw you. You look down at the wet floor--leaning the head while sleeping. I just didn't have any feelings for the uninteresting reality. I adoringly looked at you without saying a word and even forgetting to blink. I want to fall asleep, just feeling the fear of awaking. I want to forget everything. It is selfish nonsense. I call your name. I go mad with the silence. I shouted while holding your thin shoulder; it was too frail with warmth. I was fascinated by the uninteresting reality. I fount out that it even was meaningless that I had been born not to cry. The voice at my back kept on. The reason was not important. Only you look so sad in front of me. I hate myself so much because I couldn't do anything for you. I tell to you, who gave me my name. Can you be beside me as it is...? Yeah, for me you are the first and last "mother". I softly lined you with deep red color on the white wall. I came close--the still warm cheek; I just smiled calmly. A big teardrop was filled with you, and I felt we could become one. The time when the eyelids close and the warmth is gone, I am beside you...

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