• almost at the first checkpoint of the year. i don't know what i'm supposed to prove. two more days. my back is breaking. really. i can barely breathe, i hurt my back terribly. i don't know. it hurts to move. things are happy and sad at the same time. i can deal. i've crawled home from worse than this. bring it on. i can take it. i want to be able to sleep tonight though. it would be a nice perk. a nice change from the nights spent with myself. last night was spent in the tub in my bathroom making up skits with myself. rejecting boys who would never ask me in the first place. talking to boys that make me stutter. meeting my heroes. telling off my enemies with a grace my tongue would kill for. you know, the usual bathtub dreams. knock, knock, knockin' on Heaven's door. i don't care anymore. you're so sensitive. i am, i am a machine.

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