Today the main thing on my mind was m (obivously).
I started out my day with running again. Tried to come to a good state of mind, but I could only think why the realtionship of m and i might be exsistant. That was a bad move on what I know is good for me, but then again makes me happier that something could happen. I thought that m might be glancing in the hall as i pass, and that it could be possible. Or when approaching just asking me if I had done the homework in class, and i just bluntly said yea and just kind of watched him walk away, still facing me. Of course, nothing else was said on my part. What a dumbass am I. Of course this could be just acts of someone wanting a friend but i have to over-analyze like always. Checking all possible outcomes helps me to see what could become though.
I also hate the first step in "progressing as friends." Not just in this case with m, but in the same situation with Sarah. I talk to her about basic things, school, extra circular, and maybe/rarly some other things. I like her, and she seems like a nice girl, but the uncomfortable situation of getting to know hjer sucks. I hope we don't stop talking like we almost did a while ago, for no reason. From what I know about her thus far, we have a few things in common, which we try to elaborate on. The exact fact that we don't know each other very well makes the situation between us awkward. I can't wait until we know each other well enough to talk like two friends (or better than) would, and just have everything feel cosure. I don't even know how i can describe how i talk to my friends, it's just like we never have to actually... Think... of anything to say. Hopefully next year we will have a class and be seated so we will be able to talk. That's be great and if not DAMN THE MAN! I'd be pissed. It's good to know that I already know i have a class with m.
Nobody said this was easy m
- March 31, 2003
- BleedAmerican
- No Comments
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