• 021. today stunk, but i've learned a few things. you can't depend on anyone or anything, for your happiness. theres a quote from one of my favorite mansions songs that fits how i feel: "sometimes you just gotta be alone and if you can't be happy on your own, then how will you ever be happy with somebody else." matt worked today, and it was about 7 30pm before i even heard from him once. i know he's working, but i mean theres no way he went 7 hours without a cig, so he could have called, but didn't. he said he saw michelle and screamed at her and she slapped him across his face. i hate that he talked to her, more than me. i mean it's whatever, i don't need him to make me happy, you can't live a life like that, depending on other people for your own happiness. if you do, you're just setting yourself up for pain. recommendation: on your porch by the format. now we've got something to prove and i, i can see their eyes but tell me something, can they see mine? 'cause whats left to lose, i've done enough and if i fail well then i fail but i gave it a shot, and these last three years, i know they've been hard, but now its time to get out of the desert and into the sun... even if its alone.

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