• Love your hate, your faith lost. You are now one of us. i suppose he's something of a best friend. he always tells me things the way they are. no pussying around. anyway, he told me i was an idiot. "i'm sorry, but you are!" well, he's right. he knew why, as well. "ever since you've been with us, you've turned into an idiot." that's true. i've changed since i've found them. which is good, 'cause that's all i've ever wanted to do. that's why i owe those two my life; if they hadn't saved me, i'd still be the way i was before. maybe even dead. before seems so long ago now. so yeah, it was nice to be out with just those two again. he said i was an idiot 'cause i bunked school, that's why. i don't care. it was worth it. i could get away with it again. a lot of people saw us but they did jack. and who suspects an A* student? im not even on 'first contact'. well im glad he doesn't know what im going to do. he'd say i was stupid. could even stop talking to me. i dont think i'd like to sit back and watch my best friend ruin her life either. but i can't ever sit back and watch anything, can i? have to get involved. have to save them. so what's going down? i've got a plan. it's a bit shaky round the edges, but we can get to where we've got before, we always do. and i think it'll work, if i can just get there and go through with it. oh, and it's going to destroy me. either way. if i succeed, i'll have destroyed myself, but if i fail, i destroy all this emotion. it's a simple choice - save your heart or save your body. my heart every time.

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