• I find myself with a release on this journal - namely cause nothing else I do seems to matter. I can't find anything worth fighting for (within myself) I am a pillar of anger and distrust. My life is one failure after another. I should look on the bright side I'm only 18 I have my life ahead of me but really it gets worse. A decent into despair, loneliness, and a shit load of panic - about what might have been, are right now and could be. I feel like my family hates me - I have not archived much I don't play sports thats all that fucking matters in this world sport - I'm not athletic in any sense of the world (not fat). But you know if you can't catch a ball. Run with the ball. In fact anything with a ball - you're useless. - Here's the problem why are they considered so great - he scored a point "Fuck Yeah". I mean people are out there trying to cure diseases but do we care - no -.

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