• We waste all afternoon on the phone about nothing sometimes i feel like we are just talking in circles repeating a five minute convo over the course of 50 i think its because we're both so reluctant to return to reality this drama is stupid i dont care what they think or at least im trying so hard not to reread my poem today the one about him its pretty good actually considering the circumstances why is anger the same thing as strength? i should have sent it tho i was so scared he'd never talk to me again and now thats exactly what we're doing oh the irony is killing me im tempted to talk to him just straight up be like "where do i stand?" a one time thing, thats all i could get over him if i was given that chance unfortunately I'm too afraid of rejection and he's never been much for words it would probably just be the usual ratio my 4 sentences to his one word and all i said would just be wrong I think i'll wait till im ready until i trust mysekf enough to speak my peace and just get out not stick around to drown in the maybes and could have beens fortune faded figures i think its about drugs its a stupid favorite song, right? then y the fuck is it making me so nostalgic? im not normally like this i usually just get over it like boom over done but this time im trapped i dont know what i want that makes it so difficult to find something to hope for.

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