• 005. blah, just got off the phone with matt. it pisses me off that i'm not number one anymore, before four winds it was just me that mattered but i guess since hes feeling better now he feels up to seeing his friends, which is a good thing. i just hate waiting around to hang out with him and not being able to do anything else. he does whatever he wants and then tries to fit me in his schedule, yeah whatever. i need to start driving already, then i can not only drive to his house, i can hang out with other people and do other stuff. i need to get on that like NOW. i can't revolve my life around him, even though i love him so much, he doesn't revolve his life around me and i shouldn't either. hmm so i was a little mad before, but now, all is well. matt's gunna get a job at target soon, so i'm going to get a job too. preferably at marlu costumes or carmines, they're close i guess. grr i don't wanna grow up, it stinks. well today was very uneventful, i did nothing, nothing at all. for some reason chris is ignoring me; whatever, i don't deserve to be treated like crap by him. whatev. recommendation: the unwinding cable car by anberlin. Emotive unstable, You're like an unwinding cable car. Listening for voices, but it's the choices that make us who we are. Go your own way, even seasons have changed. Just burn those new leaves over. So self-absorbed, you've seemed to ignore the prayers that have already come about.

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