• Current Music: "Is There No Truth In Beauty?" by Just Surrender well, i'm not pregnant. i took a test and it was negative. as soon as i got the results i felt so relieved. but it did make me think..if i was pregnant, would i tell him? or more importantly, would he care? i'm gonna try to not think about it though..i'd rather not go through a depression again. i'm passed the point where i want to be mad at him...i just want to move on now. if this past week has showed me anything, it really is that you can relate music back to anything and everything. every time i was feeling like there was nothing there to keep me going, a song would come on and cheer me up in every way possible. i've been getting into so many fights with everyone around me..my dad, sisters, and even my best friends. i just feel like everything i do just isn't good enough anymore, or maybe it never was good enough. guess i'll never know... well, anyway, i'm sick. i think i have the flu. i hope not cause that would majorly suck. but it feels like i do. idk, i haven't really left my room in 3 days. i've just been sitting in bed watching shitty tv. i don't know what's going on with me lately. i just have no urge whatsoever to hang out with anyone. i could say it's all because of how depressed i was when my mom died, but that would be a lie. i mean yeah, it's true that i was sad about that for awhile, but i don't think it has anything to do with me right now..after all that was last summer. a lot's happened since then. sometimes i just wish that i could fast forward through time. 6 months would be fine. atleast then i would know where my life was headed. my college applications would be done, and i'd be deciding where to go. more importantly, i would be leaving here. i just feel so suffocated here in this town. there's nothing here for me. all i really have is a few close friends. i'm ready for something new. an adventure, if you will. is it possible to outgrow the people you've been friends with for years? i have 2 best friends who honestly, if it weren't for them i have no idea where i would be right now. but still i just get so bored hanging out with them. at this point, i would rather sit at home watching re-runs than do anything with them. idk, maybe it's just a phase. i hope thats all it is because i don't even want to think about what would happen to me without them. well, i guess thats all for right now. i might write more later seeing as i have absolutely no life right now.

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