• ok so its hard to come down after being wacked out of your fucking mind when the streets all folding up like an accordian and you're just trying to ride your bike home cuz all you want is to fucking lay your frozen bones on some type of mattress and you are sort of out of your body and looking down on yourself and the street is going crazy and its crazy town and then you can hardly sleep so you're finally lying down and you're mind is making crazy pictures on the dark ceiling and you're heart is beating like a thousand angry deer running wild and all you can think of is how did you get high in the first place??? but when you come down it hurts like a savage bitch and your head is collapsing and your heart is lead and you look like shit. and then school comes. and i know i shouldn't be writing this. but its the only place i can cuz i sure as fucking hell CAN'T tell ANYONE mostly cuz its just embarassing so at school i saw my best friend's old boyfriend. and maybe i should have told her this cuz we are so close (accepting she doesnt know about what i do at night) but i saw him, her old boyfriend with this skinnyassblondefreshmanairhead barely 13 for fucksake! and they were holding hands like there's was the most original meshing of palms in the universe. but the most amazing thing is, once he saw me looking he slackened his grip and dropped her hand, like some guilty dog just chewed on your shoe or something. weirdest thing that happened to me all day cuz it was like i had that power over him, to make him feel like the dickwipe he is. hmm, a feeling of power that i liked...wow i should really lie down again.

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