• So..okay I guess I need a place to vent....shit man this will help a lot.....so first off....Sarah seemed kind of tired today....oh and Cara I miss her....I want to talk to her again..I wrote a letter to her today...I didn't see her though..so I'll probably have to give it to her tomorrow.. uh things seem to be getting better again with Sarah it seems were apparently friends again.....nothing really happened today....I just gave her a note.....that's all..I just left afterwards......didn't see her at all today.....which was eh....odd I guess....maybe I didn't want to see her...maybe I was trying to avoid her.....I want this friendship to work so badly more than anything in this world.....I'm just scared to let myself fall in love with her again.....actually maybe I never even stopped...its weird....she's grown a lot..right in front of my eyes...last year (school year)...she still looked like a girl....like every other girl...but now when I look at her closely...it seems I see her differently now..almost like a young woman.....^-^.. uh...anyway yeah ...Sarah I seem to catch myself looking at her all the time now...even when I don't want to......I can't help it.....I'm so scared to fall for her again.....I don't want my heart to be broken again...I barely got through it last time...just the thought of her wanting anyone else drives me crazy......I don't know do I love her.....whatever... anyway I hope things get better with Cara.....I love her ...but sometimes I'm not to fond of her choices....she's done drugs....always messes around with guys....and at age fifteen she's already had sex....I'm scared she's going to end up pregnant and ruin her life....she's such an amazing individual.....but again her choices....i don't blame her she had it rough growing up....I wonder if she's ever felt truly loved......I know she loves some guy named Brandon..but seeing as how I don't know him....I can't tell....he better never break her heart...I swear I will kill him.....Anyway today was the same as usual....uh...except we got a new student in my class....5th pd. IPC...his name is Carlos...but to be honest he kind of seems like a ..goody too shoes....he seems kind of nerdy-ish...but ..I'm not going to judge ......anyway something that's beginning to bother me is this girl Shelby in my 7th pd...health...I think she might like me...not sure...she's always touching me....squeezing me randomly...doing all kinds of things where she just gets too close..and stuff like that...even in the halls she seems to go out of her way just to say or wave hello....she's cute and all....but I don't like her..at least not in that way....One time she even, for no apparent reason..she just sat there in her desk and drew me..which means she was staring at me all period...oh and her friend Will or whatever...came up to me and said "Hey there Mr. Sunshine" for some reason that really pissed me off..yeah I'm mr.fucking sunshine...I don't know...it just pisses me off not knowing what's going on..when it involves me......I don't know......uh...oh there's this girl which is kind of my crush......I really like her...she's so pretty her name's Stephanie......I see her like twice a day..then in health.....I really want to get to know her better..at first I thought she was just a pretty face..no brains..but now after observing her for a few days she seems pretty smart..she does have her moments from time to time though...she's so adorable..just want to squeeze her so badly......anyway..yeah....oh one more thing....man I've had to go with Miss.Lisa to get home...she's my ride because my parents work so nobody has time to pick me up from school.....can you feel the love?....heh... Anyway today and yesterday have been utter shit....all thanks to one asshole named Mario...first off call me by my name.....no not Mendez...no my ACTUAL FUCKING NAME!!!! YOU GOT THAT ASSHOLE!!! Oh and one more thing....YOU THINK I"M LAME!!! HAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!OH YOU"RE ONE TO TALK!!! I'm the poser...hah..idiot...you think I'm trying to be like FallOutBoy..first off I don't even listen to that I prefer the HARDER stuff...I'm a rocker not some pop freak....and I'm the poser...heh look at you 2 years ago you were some nerd nobody liked...and now your all gangster....ooooh how original......I don't fucking like you..okay... so don't pretend like I'm your friend..got it...I could care less about you...I'm just to nice..and i can actually control myself to tell it your face....just fuck off....poser..there I think that's all for today man I hate him so much!

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