• it's like i have all these little sub-lives. one for school where i sit in class and pretend to take notes while really just drawing and pass people in the halls and hope they don't read this or know anything about me. one for my friends where i pretend that i just didn't study but really i have no idea what we are fucking studying and i wear a tight fake smile and try to act involved. one for home where i wash the dishes and take out my trash and do my laundry and braid my sister's hair and pretend to do my homework while really packing my backpack for that night. and that's the other one, when i wait for them to be asleep and carry my spare keys and ride down to the tracks, which is the closest and most convenient outlet. oh and there's also the one for asher where he calls me when he's not macMACmacking it with his girlfriend and we argue about things like which song is better for trashing a hotel room (prodigy's "firestarter" or L7's "shitlist"...i think its obvious). so that's it. my sub-lives, i mean. there's probably sub levels to each sub life but i'm too tired to write about those. my back is killing me from last night, i was all hunched over and NO i couldn't kneel cuz the ground was FREEZING. pretty soon its going to be impossible for me to step outside without my paint freezing. which is another thing to be dreading right now fuck. dont you just want to scream that sometimes? you know, the best word in the english vernacular? fuck? its true. its the best. and also the most overused. but its reliable that way...anyway i have to pretend im doing my homework now....

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