• all it takes is a smile. 'hi.' 'hey.' i take the long way to my locker to get that. i obsess over getting that the entire day. that and the crooked smile. i mix up song lyrics to describe him because just one won't do. i'm such a 14 year old girl that words can't define it properly. screw you, elitist 15-16 year olds. screw you and your experience. screw you and the way i'll be you in a year or two. one way conversation by taking back sunday is making me happy and dizzy at the same time. the sound is flashing back and forth through the headphones. don't i atleast get points for acknowledging it? no? okay. you really should see those eyes. i remember being able to stare at them on a crowded bus because he has this way of staring out into space listening to his iPod. now i get to stare at them when I see him on the next-to empty bus sometimes. and the conversation flows so easily. with a few pauses of course. it makes me so happy. mainly because i always see him when i've given no care to my appearance. and he still smiles at me the same way. please. please. not just another stupid cru/ash. this is making me sad. because i know how it will end. he's a year older. he's friends with the right group of friends. can't i defy? i'm sorry. i'm really sorry. i hate the way i feel. i hate it. but i love the way it makes me feel. i'm sorry. i want to be someone who makes people fall in love again. but then again. it's not good form if you know it is. thank you dr. hook. screw you.

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