• only a 13 on the depression screening. they won't think i have issues. good. that is, of course, counting on the fact that they never find out i lied. my numbers should have been higher. well, who said i cared? anyways. i found out today just how annoying [awful] it is to be H's friend. it's impossible to talk t her alone. which i need to do. "you don't just walk up to someone and say, 'hello, i'm in love with your boyfriend'...it just doesn't work." so this afternoon i tried to talk to her at her locker. she hugs me, i try to talk- nope. she has to go hug JK's brother. ('he only gives me one hug a day, he hates hugs') then she comes back, and i try to talk again- "are you staying after tomorrow?" "yeah, i think so" i look around; somehow CC has magically appeared at my shoulder. "-good, i have to talk to you." she gets up and hugs him- and i mumble goodbye and walk away. i can't stand there and watch them, or wait for them. this is killing me. 'are you dying yet?' 'yeah...'[look away] 'well, your music is your IV' and today i was told i was pretty. by Shannon Quinn. and Bria. I laughed. and E knows now. a fourth in on the secret. well, you didn't really hit him with a train like you did to me, did you? and *A* is still in denial. isn't life grand? 'have to start to be myself cause i'm sick of everybody else'

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