• i googled my name (Zaraiya) and apparently it's a) not as unique as i thought [Results 11 - 20 of about 4,920 for Zaraiya. (0.19 seconds) ] and b) actually a real name. but the first 2 hits were me :) so that was cool. my real name is even more popular. swear i'm changing it when i grow up. *** anyhoo. i made E promise he wouldnt go looking for my journal. and i have a question- purely hypothetical of course. lol. only the people who had lunch with me today will get that, and none of them read this. so we've established that i like (love) CC and that he's going out with H. but i know *something* about CC that i dunno of she knows... and i think maybs she should. she is his girlfriend after all. the problem is, how do i ask her if she knows? if i ask her straight out, 'did you know blah about CC' and she says no, then i just told her and broke his confidance. but if she knows, then she may be like holy fuck! nobodys supposed to know that!! then what do i say? sorry, i thought it was more important to find out that you know than keep his secret? god. im in over my head. i cant take it anymore.. all the hugging, how he holds her with her feet off the ground for five frickin minutes while i wait awkwardly for a minute to get a word in edgewise... so close, yet so far. it's another wasted year... and on top of him being out of reach, i think maybs i'm starting to like a kid who's practically going out with *A*. maybe its just that i trust him. more than E, which is saying sumthing, since ive turned to E more than once for advice. maybe it's just that i spilled everything to him at the football game. maybe its just cuz he's so damn cute. fuzzy little teddy bear kind of guy. i hug him every day... pretty funny. and on top of that... well lets not go there. i dont wanna think about that. and on top of that, depression screening tomorrow. 2nd period. im gonna DIE. i'll fail it, they'll tell my parents im clinically depressed... just what i need. lovely. well email me, kiddies, im bored. world history homework doesnt cut it. KittyKat_13@verizon.net welcome to the what?

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