• im gone for four days and everything falls apart. four days. four days and my life flips completely upside down. you gave in. joyce and the boys are leaving. i dont really blame you for giving in, though. i think i would have done the same thing. i'd call you right now, but if i did i wouldn't know what to say. i think i'd cry. 'how can we make things right, just wanna make this right...' i think black is in order for tomorrow, hmm? this is so surreal. i mean, it was so obvious that this would happen sooner or later. i just didnt think it's be this soon. she's just up and leaving? ...how are the guys feeling? and letting E read.. are you sure? i dont want him finding mine. i really dont. he already knows im screwed up, im rather less oblique than you, i think. especially since half my entries are directed to you. f u c k . so now what? .. how can i hide this?? im gonna show sumthing, by accident. the 'rents will pick up on something. and i wont be able to lie my way out of it. shit, what do i do? what am i supposed to do? and on top of this- CC and H are back together. and i cant take it. someone send help before life drowns me.

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