• Wow, haven't done this in just about forever... So, where do I start? I'm finally with the boy of my dreams. I've gotten everything that I wanted, and now I'm so upset I just want to cry. I'm stressing about nothing, and it just makes me feel very lonely, depressed, and worthless. I want to throw up my emotions, and just get rid of them. I feel sick. I should be happy, I should be happy, I should be happy. Someone make me happy! But of course it doesn't work that way...I can only make myself happy. Oh dear, oh dear , oh dear. Whatever shall I do with myself? Ha ha, my mom is starting to freak out. Checked my stomach the other night, and asked if I did it, would I tell her? Hell no! Besides, I'm done with that. I'm tempted to, don't get me wrong. But I'm done with that. There's no point to it. And then there's the other one. The one I want to love, but don't all the time. He's there for me when it feels like no one else is. He knows me inside and out, almost, and knows what to say. He loves me. Says he always will. But I love my boyfriend. I am crazy, I know.

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