• I feel trapped sometimes. I was raised too tight... and now, i can't do things wrong: it's either me telling "stop!" or it's someone else saying "you should be ashamed" I wish i could relax a little, but i need to push myself harder, all the time, anyway... even if i have to hurt myself, torture myself... i just don't want to be left behind.. I'm afraid...if i'm stupid, useless, worthless and the picture of mediocrity this way... what would i be if i stop pushing? bleed, and cry, and hit, and yell and break, and bruise, and insult... myself... so i can understand i have to work hard to be somehow worth it. Feel the fear?

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