• Gahh. I like the idea of being in a relationship. I adore the concept of falling in love. ...but I don't want a relationship with anyone beside one person. Someone I know I can never have. Too much distance. It's nearly impossible. I try telling myself it's alright, that I have to move on, look for someone else, someone I might possibly have a chance with. It sounds logical, right? Keep moving. Try to forget. Find something that isn't impossible. But it feels so pointless. It almost feels like cheating. It definitely feels like I'm leading people on. Sorry, David. I have to bail on you. You'd make an awesome friend, but it won't be going any further than this. ((I told you I get like this... this social phobia... Sorry to be so distant. I trust you, as much as you can trust someone you've only known two days... But I don't trust myself. I get paranoid, so incredibly self conscious. Sometimes I can't block it out. I don't mean to seem rude =[.))

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