• Well, I've decided to start up a journal, on the off chance someone might be interested in reading it. It also occurred to me, just now, that tomorrow I will have forgotten what I thought and felt today, and that I did not want to lose it. Today I realised just how much school and studies ruins young peoples lives. I currently have an assessment piece for each and every one of my subjects (seven in all), with two due on Friday. This is so much pressure, I've found myself contemplating throwing my body in front of cars on the way to school, these feelings are of course instantly followed by telling myself not to be so melodramatic. But is it so melodramatic to think like this? The fact that these thoughts come instantly, spontaneously with no provocation, makes them sincere. How can I lie to myself if I haven't thought through the lie itself? Despite all this, I am clinging onto the fact that two days from now I will be going to the Island with my brother, Mitchell, and his friends, for a good solid weekend of drinking. I guess I won't be doing those other five assignments then, will I? I was meant to be going to my friends birthday party, but lately I've just been feeling completely isolated from my friends, like I'm not welcome in their company anymore. Every time I leave them I feel like as soon as I walk off they are discussing me. Quite frankly, I'd rather spend the weekend with Mitchell than with my friends at the moment. The friend whose party it is (Stacey) understands why I don't want to go, as she has been feeling the same way lately. It's actually quite sad. Talking to other people in our group I have come to realise how horrible my friends are. Well, not all my friends, it's mostly the ring-leader, Chloe, who sets the rest of them on their course. When I asked Chloe if she was going to Stacey's party, she laughed a little and said "Hell no, I don't even like Stacey." This despite the fact five minutes ago she was chatting away to Stace like best friends. Ah, well. This has been a good outlet for my ramblings, perhaps I shall return to journalling. I will keep anyone who stumbled across this journal updated on the situations as they come to pass. For now, I have to stop procrastinating and do some assessment work. Ta, Ashlee.

• No Comments

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!